The Perfect Venue

No-one believes Fawlty Towers really exists, but, like many wedding professionals I know far too many wedding venue hotels which come very close.

The problem is that, unlike Fawlty Towers, these hotels will often have one key redeeming feature and brides, unable to get this single overwhelming feature out of their mind, bend or ignore all other considerations to ensure they have this venue for their big day.

The problem is that the disadvantages the brides have managed to minimise, or block out of their minds altogether are the features that will come back to haunt them come the wedding day.

Although couples might not use these terms, there’s a theatre about a wedding, especially the ceremony which is one reason why churches, with their towering ceilings, immense columns and rich echoes are still chosen by couples who aren’t otherwise especially religious.

Creating that sense of theatre in a hotel room that was a training room until Friday evening and will be a conference venue first thing on Monday morning isn’t easy. Standard hotel ceiling heights and bland decorations suitable for everyone and ideal for none simply don’t inspire the mood. Some of the drawbacks of a less-than-ideal venue can be overcome – at a cost, but others will remain to spoil your day no matter what.

So what are some of these problems and what’s the solution?

First and after years of experience, my rule of thumb would be to reduce the maximum capacity the hotel says their room accommodates by 20%. Hotels aren’t just there to meet your needs; they’re there to make as much money as possible and the two objectives aren’t always the same.

And the reason for recommending this reduction isn’t just to preserve the “theatre” of the event. The other resources of the hotel will match the realistic numbers of guests it can handle at one time. Exceed the recommended number and the car park may overflow; invite more guests than the recommended number and the kitchens may not be able to cope and so on.

So how can you avoid this scenario? Here’s some simple steps:

1 Ignore the hotel’s estimate of the maximum capacity of the rooms. Even if they’re accurate, they don’t allow for any space for the theatre of the wedding. We recorded a wedding at a very well-known venue in Hampshire. The space was so limited the bride’s beautiful and expensive dress was draped over her father’s knees and at the end of the ceremony she and her new husband left the room in single file. For a perfect day reduce the capacity by 20%.

2 Don’t rely on the hotel to tell you truth. Within limits they will do anything to encourage you to book your wedding with them. If the quoted maximum for a sit-down meal is 100 not only will that already be a squeeze, but, if you press them hard enough, they’ll probably stretch to 120. Happy? You might think you are but in reality you’ll find all the other facilities will be geared to a maximum of 100 guests; the car park, the toilets, the bar and, most importantly, the kitchens. If any or all of those are important to you, think carefully.

3 Now let’s imagine that your dream hotel has none of these disadvantages – and they do exist – how about your elderly relatives? A country house hotel with only nine rooms isn’t obliged to provide a lift so if your aged granny is in a wheelchair ……

In contrast a modern hotel will meet every need for the disabled, there’ll be stacks of parking, the bars (an important profit centre) will almost certainly be huge so there’ll be no question of waiting for a drink and their kitchens will probably be large enough to cope with perhaps two simultaneous conferences. So is your “dream” venue the right place to choose? I can’t answer that but what I can assure you is that finding a venue that honestly ticks all the boxes will be a miracle so be prepared to accept some compromises and you won’t be disappointed.